It’s kind of weird that I will be writing about a dating app. That’s because I have never used one. I’ve been in a monogamous relationship for almost 9 years now, since I was 17. And before that I was at an age where you don’t really need a dating app, I met loads of new people all the time. So then why am I writing about a dating app? Well, because I find it a great initiative and I want to share it. The concept of this dating app is great and therefore in my eyes a perfect alternative for the mainstream sucky dating apps like Tinder or Grindr. Even though having never used them, I still know they suck. Friends have told me, and there’s a lot of dirt to be found on the internet too. Anyway, here’s more about the alternative: the Breeze dating app.
A relationship is not the ultimate goal
Before I am going to say anything about dating or a dating app, I want to say: a relationship should never be some sort of ultimate goal. And I know that’s easy to say for me, as I am fulfilled and happy in my relationship. But I do want to say this, because I would never be in a relationship if it wasn’t the absolute best. I’d say that people should only have a relationship when it’s perfect. You are already complete. Please, never date for the sake of not being alone or because you feel like you must have a relationship. That’s the perfect recipe for being with a partner who is not good enough for you. Never settle for less than you deserve. And I know Dutch society is not designed for singles. But I hope that in the future this is the case.
The group of singles in Dutch society is growing. And the main reason for that is intersectional feminism. Woman in Dutch society have gained many essential rights in the last century. We’re able to work, we’re able to have a bank account, we’re able to divorce, we’re able to live by ourselves, and the list goes on. As a consequence of this we no longer have to put up with men’s bullshit. No more financial dependence, no more domestic violence, no more patriarchal norms. We can choose to leave, and so we have. We’ve left men on a massive scale. And I am happy about that. Heck yes. Let men first fix the patriarchal bullshit and toxic masculinity. Then we’ll talk about relationships.
Online dating these days is trap
With that being said, there’s a big group of people who seek a monogamous relationship. And especially if you’ve passed the age of 25/30, you don’t meet that many new people on a daily basis anymore. That’s where dating comes in. Online dating, in most cases, on dating apps. People find it hard to meet someone in real life. And even though I think that’s a sad phenomenon, it’s reality and we make the best of it. But shit, here comes capitalism. Whenever we’re in search of something, there’s a company providing for it. And so we have many dating apps. But for most dating apps, making money is way more important than making sure you meet someone you like (this is the downside of almost every company in capitalism, they want to maximize profit).
And this is the where dirt comes in. Because most dating apps want to keep you on their app as long as possible. Every time you’re online, they get to show you ads and they make a profit from this. If you find someone you like and start a relationship with, you leave the app, sometimes even forever. And so, finding love is not what apps like Tinder want for you.
Tinder wants you to fail
There are many dirty tricks that apps like Tinder use to keep you swiping. First is, the whole app is built on the concept of there always being more options. The love of your life might be on the next swipe, right? Swiping is addictive. This keeps you swiping and not ever investing in the actual dates. Some of the smartest minds in our society are busy keeping you swiping, with all their little tricks. The next downside of Tinder is that it has a chat-function. This stops many users from actually meeting up for a date, the whole point of the app. Users often get ghosted.
Another downside is that Tinder has an algorithm to identify the profiles which are most attractive to most people. These profiles are always shown to you first. So, when you open the app, you find one or two of the most popular profiles first. But after that, you get a whole other set of profiles. This keeps you addicted. A study has shown that Tinder barely shows interesting potential matches to users who have a free account. That’s because Tinder also has paid accounts. When you get the paid accounts (there are multiple options), you actually get to see interesting matches. You also get more swipes, so more options. And then there are many more premium functions which keep you addicted to swiping.
How the dating app Breeze works
Conclusion: most dating apps, the ones like Tinder and Grindr, suck. They’re not here to help you, but to keep you on the platform. Today I want to tell you more about an alternative I saw and think is great: The Breeze dating app. What it basically comes down to is that Breeze has a different system for matching and a different way of making money. Breeze is not a non-profit, unfortunately, I don’t think these exist in the online dating branche. That’s why I think Breeze is the best option. Here’s how the dating app Breeze works:
You make a profile on the app, lists your interests, what you’re looking for in a date and select in which area you’re willing to date (let’s say, 50 kilometers from your place). Breeze then gives you a small set of potential profiles for a date (5, I think). You select the profile you like most, then select your availability for a date and pay 9 euros for the date. Breeze then finds a day on which the both of you are available and books a location. You get the information for the date and you’re all set. No contact with your date up front, it’s about the actual date itself (why you’re on the app in the first place, right?). There’s an option to cancel the date, via the Breeze contact center. They then notify your date. But if you do this too often, your account is blocked.
The advantages of the Breeze dating app
Like I said, the profits come from something different in the Breeze dating app. Breeze has deals with the locations (restaurants, bars, etc.) they send you and your date to. You pay 9 euros per date and get the first drink for free. That’s their model for profit, simple as that. Breeze benefits when you go on an actual offline date. That to me is the biggest advantage. It keeps you from swiping and into real offline dating. Another advantage linked to this is that your date is just as serious as you are, because they pay for the date upfront as well. And so, they won’t cancel so easily and are serious about dating. The other advantages are the ones I already listed. There’s no option to chat and people who ghost are blocked.
I have never used Breeze, I have to be honest about that. But still, I think their concept is absolutely amazing.
Yours sincerely,
Romee